"Strivers" and "Existers"
Everyone you know falls into one of these two buckets. Which one are you?
On Monday morning, on a Zoom call, I found myself breaking down the Vikings devastating regular-season finale loss from the night before with none other than former Vikings quarterback, Christian Ponder.
(The midwestern apologist in me feels obligated to emphasize that this is not intended to be a pretentious boast to hook you guys into reading my blog lol)
Am I a Vikings season ticket holder who paid thousands of dollars for this conversation? Nope.
No, I didn’t play with or against him in college.
So how did this conversation happen?
There were thousands of cosmic coincidences that led to this moment, but I’ll keep the explanation simple: Christian and I are both strivers.
In my thirty-one years on this earth, I truly, devoutly believe that all of us - every person on this planet - is either a striver, or an exister.
If it’s not intuitive enough, I’ll describe the differing characteristics of each to paint a better picture for you.
Strivers
Strivers are ambitious. That is the core, fundamental character trait of being a striver.
We want to reach for things we don’t have.
We’re uncomfortable with mediocrity for too long.
We believe that our purpose on this planet is bigger than just “getting by.”
We have people in our lives telling us to chill out and take our foot off the gas, and take on less.
We’re generally discontent. This is the curse of being a striver.
Strivers are not better than, or more talented, or more qualified than anyone else.
In society, strivers are often entrepreneurs, since they don’t want to succumb to the slow, predictable climb up the corporate ladder.
Some well-known strivers are Elon Musk, or Ruth Bader Ginsburg, or Donald Trump, or Kamala Harris (Both Don and Kamala??!! Yes.).
Strivers are the trailblazers, pioneers, and changemakers that ultimately move the needle for themselves, their families, the generations that came before them, and in exceptional cases, the human race.
Existers
Existers are content. This is the core, fundamental character trait of being an exister.
Existers are totally satisfied with the lives that they lead, or, they’re at least too comfortable to assume any risk to leave it.
Existers don’t have unusually high aspirations. If the path that they are on checks the boxes for the most important priorities and values that they hold, they will stay where they are at.
Existers are not lazy, or quitters, or “taking the easy route.”
Existers possess a sense of intrinsic tranquility that is rare among strivers.
In society, existers are the cogs in the machine that keeps our country moving along. We can’t have a functional society without existers.
An example of an exister might be a stay-at-home parent. They found (or rather, birthed) what makes them happy, they find a lot of joy in purpose in it, and they don’t have other aspirations outside of being the best parent they can be.
Strivers and existers need each other in a harmonious, functional society.
Now that the difference between strivers and existers is more clear, let’s revisit my conversation with Christian. I learned through some former college football teammates about the organization that Christian founded after retiring from the NFL, called The Post. I decided to book this call to learn about membership in the group, because I’m a striver, and I think that connecting with other strivers can lead to outcomes far greater than any individual is capable of.
Now, I know there is a professional description of the group and their mission on the website, but how I would define the Post is that it is a virtual community of former collegiate athletes that all possess the same intrinsic personality traits that make us strivers. The Post is intended to be a collective of high-achieving former athletes, so that in that virtual community environment, we can all help each other achieve more and climb nearer to our highest aspirations.
I think it’s an incredible concept (disclaimer, I have not yet joined).
When Christian and I began chatting, the conversation came super naturally. At his core, he’s just a regular guy… who happens to have million-dollar arm talent, a ridiculously talented wife, a rapidly growing organization, and a few other very rare traits. I played college football with a handful of guys who are now in the league, so I wasn’t really intimidated by the fact that he had been the face of an NFL franchise for a few years, as impressive as it is.
For the first five or ten minutes we just talked football - I broke the ice with a joke about the beatdown that his Vikings had received the night before, and then he dove into his postgame analysis too (I won’t say who said it, but one of us isn’t sure that Sam Darnold is the guy that the Vikings organization can count on in high pressure games).
Just a couple of guys talking football.
Then we transitioned to how he started the Post, and this is where his path began to resonate with me so much more.
Christian told me that he played his last down of professional football in 2016, and moved to New York City with aspirations of finding success in the world of finance and wealth management (in college, he’d gone on to get his MBA from Florida State University). Christian started considering other options when he learned very early on in the finance world that average folks in the corporate workplace do not have the same drive and ambition that he possesses, something that I resonated with immediately.
He longed for the high-performing operating environment that he had as a professional athlete. In his football career, everyone around him put their best foot forward, risking their bodies and their livelihood in pursuit of a common goal. In the corporate world, there are plenty of existers that are perfectly content with a stable job that meets their needs.
I want to be clear - there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Providing for your family is honorable, and should be revered and celebrated. That is not easy, and many, many, millions of Americans struggle to do that. Being an exister is perfectly fine, and frankly, there is a lot that I envy about the peace and contentedness that existers possess.
Ultimately, Christian left the finance world and started The Post, to recreate a professional environment like the one he thrived in in football, where the energy of a collective group of high-performing people can accomplish exceptional things.
Everything Christian said hit home for me…
The feeling of our intangible character traits that were developed in collegiate athletics (and the military, for me) being underutilized in a corporate setting.
The ever-present fear of not meeting our full potential, not as athletes, but as members of society.
The recognition that if we pooled together the collective talent of some of the high-functioning people we’ve crossed paths with on our journeys, we could achieve unbelievable things.
As our conversation came to a close, it was clear to me that I was not alone in the feeling of discomfort that I had in the corporate environment that I presently find myself in. It was refreshing to talk to another striver, who is acting on his intrinsic impulse to reach for the limits of his potential, and to bring others along for the ride with him.
I firmly believe that you become the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. I’m grateful that I have spent time with so many impressive people in my life, and I do think that much of the credit for most anything significant that I’ve ever done is directly due to their influence on me.
I admire what Christian is building tremendously, which at it’s root, is built on that same belief.
I’ll wrap up this blog post with this timeless quote, that epitomizes the foundational belief of strivers, leaders, and great teammates, like Christian Ponder -
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
Thanks again for reading folks, hope you enjoyed it!
I want to end this blog with an ask of you. I’m considering starting an interview series, and sharing with you the conversations I have with many of the impressive people that I’m fortunate to know, like Christian Ponder.
If I did this series, would you be more interested in reading the transcripts of the conversations I have, or listening to audio of the conversations, almost like a podcast?
Until next time,
Reid
Well done sir. I’m fortunate to have you in my circle
Good stuff Reid! However Trump a striver? Nope, disagree for a multitude of reasons. Keep up the great articles! 👏👏